The symptoms above may become more apparent when a person is in a situation that requires them to be intimate with other people, such as during dates with a significant other or when discussing personal information or romantic relationships with friends.
The reality is that some anxiety in romantic relationships is normal, but intense fear indicates some sort of problem or unresolved issue.
When a person experiences significant trauma, such as abuse or a serious accident, they can come to believe that the world is not safe during childhood. Suppose the trauma involves abuse from a caretaker or someone close to the child. In that case, they may learn to become distrustful, eventually leading to a phobia of falling in love during adulthood.
Someone fearful of love tends to demonstrate anxiety over becoming attached to others, and they may even avoid close attachments entirely. Similar to the effects of childhood trauma, negative past experiences, such as deep pain from a previous relationship or the unexpected loss of a loved one, can lead people to show signs of philophobia. The pain of past experiences may be so devastating that people attempt to avoid experiencing this type of pain again.
Sometimes, people may inherit a tendency to be fearful or anxious from their families. Psychologists believe that our early attachments with our parents shape the way we view relationships and continue to affect us throughout adulthood.
This means that fear of falling in love may arise from emotionally distant parents, or in some cases, from being raised by a mother who was overly anxious or who was not nurturing. One study found that depression was a strong risk factor for phobias. In the case of philophobia, a person with depression may struggle with feelings of worthlessness and difficulty with decision making, which can lead them to be fearful of falling in love.
If you have philophobia, you may have friendships, but find that most of your conversations are surface-level because you are afraid of opening up, showing your vulnerabilities, and expressing your feelings. With philophobia, you may be worried that friends or significant others will judge you poorly or abandon you if you open up to them.
Part of falling in love is trusting your partner to stay faithful to you and not hurt you. If you have a phobia of falling in love, you may worry that committing to a serious relationship will mean that you are trapped and have to give up your freedom and identity. If you have had troublesome relationships in the past, whether with family members or an abusive former partner, you may still be carrying around baggage from these relationships.
It is not uncommon for friends to talk about their romantic relationships, but you are likely to avoid all discussions of love and romance if you have philophobia. A phobia is an extreme, often irrational fear of an object, place, situation, feeling, or animal that may cause someone to panic. Common phobias include:. Learn more about phobias here.
As phobias are a type of anxiety disorder , people may not show any symptoms until their fear confronts them. People with an exaggerated or irrational feeling of danger towards love may be experiencing philophobia and may feel anxiety and panic when simply thinking about love.
Doctors call this phenomenon anticipatory anxiety. Unlike other types of phobia, for example, agoraphobia, people living with philophobia may not experience their anxiety every day. For some individuals, however, they may have these feelings daily, which can make leading a normal life challenging. People with philophobia may experience the following symptoms, which are also common for most phobias:. Experts have not yet described the exact symptoms of philophobia in medical literature.
Consequently, doctors need more information on the condition to understand it more and to be able to offer better treatment options. Experts think that some people may be born with a tendency to be more anxious and develop specific phobias. Currently, it is unclear what causes philophobia. Experts have not included philophobia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual DSM-5 , the handbook of psychiatric diseases that doctors all over the world use.
Similarly, there is no other standard guideline for diagnosing philophobia. Another reason for the limited information on philophobia is that those with phobias often choose to live with them rather than treat them. Likewise, while most people living with a phobia are aware of their extreme fears, they may be reluctant to speak with doctors about the issue. Philophobia sering dikaitkan dengan pengalaman masa lalu yang membuat trauma terutama pengalaman tentang cinta dan hubungan romantis.
Jika seseorang pernah merasakan kegagalan dalam memiliki hubungan romantis seperti perceraian, seseorang akan mudah terkena philophobia. Selain itu, pernah melihat pertengkaran hubungan romantis orang lain dapat menyebabkan rasa cemas untuk membentuk hubungan romantis. Kebanyakan kepercayaan dan kebudayaan memandang bahwa memiliki hubungan cinta merupakan perbuatan dosa. Bahkan, terdapat kepercayaan yang menghukum secara brutal apabila norma mengenai hubungan cinta dilanggar.
Hukuman inilah yang sering menyebabkan rasa takut pada seseorang untuk jatuh cinta. Depresi juga ikut andil dalam philophobia. Seseorang yang merasa depresi merasa lebih tidak percaya diri untuk memiliki hubungan kasih dan rasa percaya dengan orang lain.
Depresi dapat menyebabkan seseorang merasa tidak berharga dan cenderung mengisolasi diri sendiri dari orang lain terutama ikatan cinta. Gejala philophobia bisa berbeda-beda tiap orang. Gejala yang ditunjukkan bisa berupa reaksi fisik maupun emosional saat seseorang memikirkan cinta:. Philophobia bukan gangguan kecemasan , meskipun beberapa orang yang philophobia dapat mengalami gangguan kecemasan sosial juga.
Gangguan kecemasan sosial dapat menyebabkan seseorang merasa takut berada di situasi sosial, tapi berbeda dengan philophobia yang menjurus ke salah satu bagian sosial yaitu cinta.
Penderita philophobia memiliki kemiripan dengan disinhibited social engagement disorder DSED , yaitu gangguan yang umum terjadi pada anak di bawah umur 18 tahun.
DESD membuat orang menjadi sulit untuk membentuk koneksi yang dalam dan berarti dengan orang lain. DSED disebabkan trauma pada masa kecil atau pengabaian dari orang tua.
Psikoterapi dan obat hanya apabila philophobia sudah parah merupakan solusi untuk menangani philophobia pada seseorang. CBT merupakan terapi yang umum untuk berbagai macam gangguan.
CBT membantu penderita untuk menyadari adanya pemikiran dan pandangan yang membuat penderita merasa cemas. From an early age I had this panicking feelings inside me when it comes to love.
Whenever I have intimate relationship with someone on the internet or real life. Side affects are: stomach act and fling guilt. So I decided to explore and drew hearts. Now I understand why my ex boyfriend do these things , we have been loving each other for 1 year , but.
We broke up after a months , because he had to go to USA , and I wanted to move 3 months later. He just arguing with me , but he told me I always been loving you! What should I do , I love him I want to take him back?
If he reject you,so reject him also! In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. God is the first person that gives us LOVE!
Through prayer we can communicate and know more what is really the true love of GOD to us. Same here. I had crush on someone, once! But the thought of having serious relationship, was unbearable. The thought of love scared me so so so so much.
I fell in love this year and I hate myself for it. I feel guilty, hate, anxious, irritated, and just…. I want to cry and tell myself everything will be alright at the same time. One I found out love is my main fear I started to accept it about found it was called Philophobia.
I accept my fear, no matter how painful it is…. I have also this kind of fear. I thought that it can only ruin my studies. So, what I did was reject him. I feel bad of what I did at that time.
And I thank god for what I have now! I definitely have this. Ive been in one relationship my whole life which was really hard for me. I cried 4 times in 3 weeks just from the emotional stress and anxiety it was causing me. In the past whenever i liked someone and they felt the same, i just couldnt be around them. Once it caused me to shake, get a headache feel nautious, and lightheaded, and one time, it turned me into a completely different person.
I couldnt even talk to them. I am sure that I am not the only one who had suffered watching their parents fight, but when I was about six years old or so, I saw my father arguing with my mother at a kitchen when it was midnight. He suddenly pulled out a knife and threatened my mother. But my mother repeatedly yelled at him to stab her. After seeing this I chose not to show any interest towards others as I feared that, falling in love would result in me becoming a man I do not want to become.
Anyone can disagree with me, but I do not find love as important. You can live alone and still survive. This happened with me too. I saw my mother trying to hang herself. I must have been in 3rd or 4th grade. I moved away for highschool and later got to know that my mom had been in hospital because my dad pushed her so hard against the balcony that she had to get stitches on her head.
And I just hate the fact that no matter what I still love both of them unconditionally. I am 22 and never even had my first kiss. People find me attractive so easily that I mostly end up hating myself for being open to them — of which is weird! Look, I hurt people, from spiritual leaders through friends to women. I would wake, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and disappear from their sight. I wish I can get help sooner as I believe this is not the way one should be living. All of these details match my current afflictions and symptoms.
I wish I never I could just live some place far away from civilization so that I never ever get close with another person. I just realized i might have philophobia when i realized the person i like might like me. I started to have a panic attack , the problem is i still have a crush on them and the counteracting feelings are driving me insane. I want a relationship but the thought of being in one scares me. My age Last year a girl changed my life. Being 3 years younger to me, she makes me feel butterflies in my stomach everytime I see her and heart races like anything.
Pleasure centres of my brain get activated upon talking with her even if it is for a minute. But the only problem is that I made a mistake. One year back, I told one of my friend about her and he leaked it in the whole friend circle.
I legit HATE myself. He was a cheat, liar, words cannot even describe how he is. Since then, when I fall in love, I discover I want to be used and that has made me to be philophobic.
The latest was the last guy I fell in love with recently. This has really made me to stand my ground; to be philophobic. I am afraid of being close to anyone. Because I dated my best friend. He moved. And he broke my heart. Philophobia is also caused by seeing your parents fighting and then broke up. DONT let your past steal or take your present.
I am nor will I ever be a victim. I live life now on my terms. I have many male friends. As soon as i realized that someone have romantic feeling, i immediately cut the ties. And when i try to love someone.. But never be in serious relationship. Once i loved a boy so much that it even hurted but when i had to change the school where we were ,i broke up with him because i felt that i couldnt have a distant relationship but now i regret my decision.
I have philophobia… I notice it everytime someone asks me out, for ex. I met a guy and instantly fell for him, he asked me out that night and I said yes,of course.
It was two weeks later and I started to lose feelings, I convinced myself that I still love him and so I left him. I knew I was inlove, he asked me out and I said yes. We are currently still going out, but I am losing my feelings. There is someone else that is inlove with me and he was my kindergarden crush.
What must I do??? You, little lady, are a player. You are a heart breaker. Sorry that this had to be so brutal but it is what you need to hear. What you need to do is keep doing what you are doing because you cannot simply just say you are going to be faithful to one guy if you are always jumping around with guys.
You have a specific career set for you. You have no feeling for the guys you leave so why worry. Let the guys feel bad. Let yourself be happy with a new guy every week. You do not have Philophobia. You are just a regular middle school girl learning what she likes to do most in her teenage life.
You will eventually realize the title you will get in high school. Trust me, you will be labeled a whole ton of labels once you get in high school and maybe even right now among your peers. I am simply telling you the truth and being honest.
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